Figuring it out

I wish I truly had all figured out:
Like what men want, besides that.
Sometimes I want to yell and shout,
But instead I quietly say, oh, crap.

I don’t always know what I want,
And I don’t have anything to prove.
I don’t mean to hurt when I’m blunt,
Still hope to be as gentle as a dove.

My middle name is not I’m sorry
And I surely have my bad days,
So don’t assume that I am boring.

But no matter how often I doubt,
I’ll still look to the stars and gaze,
And keep on trying to figure it out.

KBS, March 2009.

One Step

Morning breaking through the clouds of my strangest dreams,
The waking hours sifting through images of what it seems.
The time ticking in the clock is faster than my internal one,
And can’t understand the rush to be there and then… gone!

Hear the beats of the radio music, and out of the machinery,
With so much noise can’t find anything good in the scenery.
More concrete around reaches within and the heart hardens:
Instead of flourishing, I’m recoiling with life’s cadence.

Is this what I want? Is this what I’ve been striving for?
Or have I lost my way and can’t find my own north?
Need to quiet the merging noise and stop it all now.
Only to my own heart’s beat is worth to dance and fall.

Seems impossible sometimes to just move ahead your feet,
To make the turn that will take you above the defeat.
But all it takes to start the journey is one step, then another,
That will take you closer to your soul, sister, and brother.

KBS, February 2009.

Feels like Spring

I woke up to a beautiful morning,
In which you were by my side.
Every day feels like spring,
And by love and joy I abide.

The rambunctious stare at me,
Feeling obliterated by my joy.
What is so hard for them to see
Is that with love I won’t be coy.

The laughter comes spontaneously,
And is very hard to hold it back,
Even when I see envy or jealousy.

So I go, at each little flower gazing.
Feels like spring, be day or night,
And no storm to me can be fazing.

KBS, March 2009.